Arch enemies of progress
My wife and I were two years into marriage and there was a crisis that hit us. It began like a little fire that was not properly managed and brewed into a bigger issue. On a visit to Abuja, at my Elder brother’s house, my wife opened up to him about the issue. Apparently, we had taken different positions and were not ready to shift for each other. That was more of a problem than the main issue. My Brother picked me up, and spoke wisdom to us. We learnt from our mistakes and moved on.
A major deception I have seen in the young people, as I counsel with them, is that there should be no third party in their affairs. Hmmm! As wise as that counsel may sound, it is deceptive. At best, it is falsehood disguised as wisdom. When you have academic issues, you approach a third party. When you have career issues, you approach a third party. When you have health issues, you approach a third party. But when you have relationship issues, you don’t want a third party? It is lack of wisdom
In my few years of engaging in counselling, there are two major issues I have found that keep people away from seeking help when they mostly need it. I will discuss the two with a view to offering possible solutions. There may be more reasons but largely these two are on the front wheel of keeping people away from the help they need. Unfortunately, many lives have been ruined when they couldn’t seek the needed help from the right quarters.
The first major problem is ego. Ego is the feeling that you don’t want another person to have a say in your issues, so as to protect your reputation. “I can deal with my issues myself.” Though the issues may be dealing with you but as long as your clothes can cover it, and there is quality perfume to smell good, you think you’re good. It’s a lie! We all go through experiences that sometimes seem to crush us. You’re not alone. Never let what people think about you stop you from seeking help. Imagine how many people’s “secrets” the doctors hold. As long as you get well, seek the right Doctor. Ego can stop your progress. The best antidote to ego is humility.
Secondly, ignorance stops people from seeking help when in need. Many people don’t know they need help. The Arabians do say, “He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool; shun him. He who knows not, and knows that he knows not, is a student; Teach him.” When you’re not getting things right and refuse to learn from others, wisdom is lacking. Whereever you see the combination of ego and ignorance, you have major enemies that are worse than household enemies. They’re fifth columnists. As we start the new year, check it if any of these enemies is parading your corridor. It is time to seek help and make progress.